Harvard Class Day Speech – June 4, 2003
Will Ferrell
This is not the Worcester, Mass Boat Show, is it? I am sorry. I have made a terrible mistake. Ever since I left “Saturday Night Live,” I mostly do public speaking now. And I must have made an error in the little Palm Pilot. Boy. Don’t worry. [...]

Commencement Speech to the Knox College Class of 2006
by Stephen Colbert
[Pours water into a glass at the podium, splashes face and back of neck]
Thank you. Thank you very much. First of all, I’m facing a little bit of a conundrum here. My name is Stephen Colbert, but I actually play someone on television named Stephen Colbert, [...]

Commencement Speech to the Harvard Class of 2000
by Conan O’Brien
I’d like to thank the Class Marshals for inviting me here today. The last time I was invited to Harvard it cost me $110,000, so you’ll forgive me if I’m a bit suspicious. I’d like to announce up front that I have one goal this afternoon: [...]